Ex-Mormon, Queer Musician Returns to Church
Finds a new home for their music
I am working on incorporating more live performance in my busy grad school life, as I see how important it is to my sense of self and mental health. Over the weekend I got to play some of my favorite original songs at the Sunday services for First Unitarian Universalist Church in Rochester, MN. What a beautiful experience I had sharing space with people in an environment that I have not really taken seriously as an adult.
Growing up in the Mormon church, these spaces were full of control, order, and quiet — not a space for a large family who loved to play and have fun. Most of the time, my dad had to sit out in the Lobby to listen to the church sermons through a speaker box hanging from the corner of the ceiling, because we were being too loud to be in the same room where everyone else was trying to listen. I remember how boring it was, and that I always had to wear a dress because I was seen as a girl — all girls had to wear one, no exceptions. By the time I was 13 everyone in my family, except my Dad, left the church for good. Unfortunately, the Mormon church still had time to lay gay shaming thoughts into my young mind and was a huge reason why I was so closeted until my mid 20s. To be honest, I am still unpacking the toxic ideas placed in me by this church.
Perhaps you can imagine, then, why it is difficult for someone like me to be open to churches at all. The reason I agreed to play at this one is because I knew it was Unitarian and I had heard that this is more an “all are welcome” focused religion that does not necessarily speak heavily to God and Jesus so much as to peace and justice. That’s a language I can get behind. I am happy to report that I made the right choice playing for this wonderful church and all its loving people.
I played five songs in all that were peppered throughout the hour service. While I was listening to all the speakers, and their beautiful thoughts and truths, it honestly felt like I was being given the permission to sing each song with absolute conviction to the truth and message of my music. The whole experience provided me with the feeling that my music has never felt more at home. I can still feel the way the notes vibrated through my voice out into the sanctuary. The resonance is still giving me comfort.
[Feeling like you may have missed out, no worries, they live stream there service and make it available for all to see at anytime. Check it out here!]
My fiance Maddi was with me for this and she too was deeply moved by our experience. What a gift to share a life with someone like her who is so open to new experiences that resonate the soul. This beautiful Sunday morning has been imprinted in our hearts now. So perhaps I will book a UU Tour! Or maybe just start attending a UU Church! Or maybe both! One thing that is definite, I do need to keep playing and sharing my music. Nothing fills me up like this dream come true ability I have to create and share the workings of my heart…
…THAT SAID, I do have another show coming up real quick on February 8th at the 331 Club in Minneapolis, MN. I will be playing a songwriter round which I am very excited for. I believe these shows usually start around 9:30. Would love to see some of you out there!
Also, I clearly need to book more shows so please tell me where you want to see me! Maddi wants to start managing and booking me now, so I am going to take your ideas and start teaching her how the process works! So, help give me training materials for her by shouting out some venues you want me to play!! Maybe you want to see me at your church!! 😉
Menomonie First Congo, the one you’ve sung at before. 😁